anngwish42’s Neighborhood

Can someone tell me what are Moo Mini Cards?
Are they fun?
Should I get them?
Y/N

I really don't use this blog anymore.

My public blog has been moved to my website http://www.talulafairie.com/blog

and my mostly friends-only blog is still on Live Journal

http://talula-fairie.livejournal.com/

I've felt unusually lonely today.

At first I was a bit perplexed by the feeling but towards the evening it all began to make sense.

I missed you...

I was in the supermarket gathering baking supplies and they kept playing all these angsty songs.

Everyone seemed to be purchasing dinners for one.

I wondered how far across the atlantic you were and if you'd had your dinner for one.

Hurry back.

It's weird you being SO far away.

I can't explain it.

Susie Suh - All I Want

Too many times, I have wondered
What all trying is for
You come around, I feel so down, I'm gonna drown
Because I know that you've fallen short

But do you know, It doesn't change
The way I feel about you at the end of the day
Because I know
That all I want is what you got
All I want is what you got

And too many times, I have wanted
To turn around and walk away
Knowing deep inside
You can't provide what I need from you anyway

But do you know, It doesn't change
The way I feel about you at the end of the day
Because I know
That all I want is what you got
All I want is what you got

I am very very sad today. I just feel completely and totally leveled. Devestated. I thought I had made peace with this apartment, that this is our fate, but now...after I was sure we were moving and to just get slammed in the face like that, I feel absolutely broken. My spirit, heart, faith, and hope is broken. I'm sure it will repair itself and in time the pain will fade, but for now all I can think of is our dark filthy apartment that's so small the kids trip over their toys becuase there's no place to put them, the sticky gross carpet that never gets clean,  then I think of someone moving into the townhouse, and then of all the other families living in the other houses I'd wanted that turned us down. Let this be a lesson to you all, credit can ruin your life.

Jane has a fever and she fell asleep in my arms earlier today. I fell asleep too. As I held her and smelled her soft downy hair, I thought about how blessed I am to be her mother. Sometimes I can't believe these beautiful beings are my children. As I slept one of my friends from church brought me by some flowers and a card that said wonderful things. It was really really sweet and it helped a little. She put us on the prayer roll at the local temple. I wish I had her hopefulness and joy in everything. Right now the pain is just enveloping me like a wave, and the tears burn my eyes.

emo

Hope may be a thing with wings
but I am a thing with claws
scrabbling at the unforgiving walls
and seeking purchase where it cannot be found.
Which and where and when I do not know
and if there are answers
they've flown away now.

Phone rang.  It was Dave, a writer friend.  We talked for over an hour, mainly about punctuation.  He has big plans for the ellipsis.  He's mad for ellipses.  I tell him yeah, I have similar affection for the parenthesis (but I always take most of my parentheses out, so as not to call undue attention to the glaring fact that I cannot think in complete sentences, that I think only in short fragments or long, run-on thought relays that the literati call stream of consciousness but I like to think of disdain for the finality of the period). - Sarah Vowell

6:04 AM, Thursday, February 1, 2007

Charlie woke with a start, the crashing of a sheet of snow and ice falling from the roof of her cabin to the ground below too loud for any woman -- or dog -- to sleep through.  Her malamute, Benny, whined at the intrusion into his dog dreams, and sat up to look at his mistress expectantly.

"It was just snow falling off the roof, Benny.  It must've warmed up some overnight."

Charlie clambered out from under the heavy quilts and blankets that insulated her bed and felt the chill as she flipped on the bedside lantern and searched for her slippers.  Once they were found and quickly slipped onto her feet, she stood and started for the narrow stairs out of the bunkloft.  "Come on Ben-Ben, you can go outside."

The large malamute wagged his tail and gracefully leapt from the mattress and slithered past his mistress to run down the stairs ahead of her.  Charlie laughed and followed, and braced herself for the wintry blast sure to come as she let the animal out to romp into the snow.  What she found as she opened the door took her by surprise.

"Jim!  What the hell?"

The tall man strode masterfully into the small mudroom as the dog wiggled past to get outside.  Charlie closed the door as Jim sat on a bench to remove his boots as if he had been invited in.  He looked up from his task and assessed her, sheepskin slippers and up, longjohns and flannel shirt and sleep-tousled hair.  "You're lookin' good, Charlie.  Lookin' real good."  He chuckled as he pulled on his own slippers, slippers she'd thought of burning.  She wished that she had.

"I don't care how you think I look, Jim.  What the hell are you doing here?"

"My cabin too, Char."  He crossed into the small galley kitchen, opened the fridge and pulled out a jar.  "Have you had breakfast?"  He extracted, then bit into, a dill pickle, holding out the jar to her as if limp, salty cucumbers were a suitable food for an hour before the sunrise.

"I don't eat those things at this hour, Jim.  And you know exactly what I mean -- why are you here?  You know...  I told you that I needed time alone and I meant that.  That doesn't mean time with you showing up after four days."

Jim crossed to the fireplace and began sweeping out cold ashes, left from the fire that had burned out during the night.  He said nothing.  Charlie watched him go through the motions of building and lighting a fire, silent and ignoring her, as if this were any morning, as if this was like any of their weekend getaways to the cabin.  Her husband's audacious behavior was annoying, but starting a fight wasn't going to solve this problem.

Charlie opened the door and called "Benny!  Benny come get your breakfast, boy!"  She grabbed one of the dog's towels from the rack behind the door as the snowcovered animal bounded into the door, shaking and snorting happily.  She started to dry him off.  Jim suddenly appeared in the doorway between the mudroom and the interior of the cabin.   

"You need to take better care of the fireplace, Charlie.  You'll burn the place down if you don't clean up after yourself once in a while."

It was a standard Jim tactic, she was a slob, nothing was ever clean or tidy enough for him.  There would always be some dire consequence of her lack of fastidiousness.

"Jim, you need to go home.  I'm completely serious.  Either go home or let me know that you want to be here so that I can go somewhere else."

"Charlie, you don't get to order me around.  You want everything your way.  You're forgetting that I have been more than patient with you.  More than patient.  I could've very well told you to hit the street, you know."

"Fine, Jim, fine."  She went back up to the bunkloft, leaving Jim standing in the kitchen, scooping out kibble for Benny.

She came back down.

With a small handgun.

***

This is how it works: you get 5 words and with these 5 words you have to write an entry. The words might or might not be related. You decide how to combine them, and how long your entry will be. You tag your entry with 5wordchallenge and whatever other tags you like. Finally, you put the words in bold.

The tax return finally came and we bought a new couch and bed for our apartment! Also a shower curtain, bath mat, and other various accessories. Our apartment is much improved. We may even be able to move to a townhouse, as someone from our church is renting their 3 bed/2 bath townhouse. Here's hoping!

The girls are doing well. Erica is almost walking!!! She's so big. I can't believe how much she's grown. It seems like time is flying by. Jane is talking more, though unfortunately, her favorite thing to say is "NO NO NO NO NO!" I confess, the toddler phase is not my favorite.

Roger had Monday off (President's Day or some such nonsense) and so we took the girls to the park.

park1

Look at those hooligans! Partners in crime, they are.

park8

Awwww!

me4